APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

First, I’d like to start by airing my grievances. How I wish this day was a holiday – yes, a public holiday. It’s not, which makes me kinda sad.

Anyway, enough of my ‘feelings’. April Fools. What is it? How did it come to be?

Who really cares how and where it came from? It’s origin as far as I know are uncertain and only conjectures which appears to have been made more recently. One sure thing that cannot be hidden – with your eyes closed – is that it is one of the most light-hearted days of the year.

It is mostly practiced in Europe such as UK and countries with its traditions, Belgium, Scotland, Italy, France and Canada. Iran is known to have practiced this tradition from as far back as 536 BC, and it’s still alive today. Did you know in the ancient cultures of the Romans and Hindus, they celebrated New Years Day on or around April 1st? Shocking right? Picture the lights, atmosphere of the crowd buzzing with joy and laughter, others glued to their screens, schools closed, businesses shut down in the main street and everyone gathers in the capital city to usher in a new year. The countdown goes up; lovers waiting for number 2 to delve their mouths into each other, pastors are waiting to give the first sermon spoken to them from the Lord in the New Year, mothers in labor hold on a little bit longer for their child to be born in the new year – then as noisy as it can be, 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2… The president’s face appears on all the screens and shouts,

‘Happy April Fools Citizens.’  I know. I feel you too. What a bummer! Thank God for a calendar. ‘Kumbe’ it’s on 29th December.

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This is the day that anything; everything that you had dreamt or envisioned might just come true. From Jay-Z and Chris Brown performing in Kenya, will be published in the papers to words you’ve never heard before, “I love you.” From the government pardoning tax payers for that month to landlords giving you a pass this time around. From false praises of how talented, intellectual, wise and knowledgeable you are, to how everyone in the class has aced their end of year exam. Later on, to receive a text, tune in to your favorite blog or read the papers in uppercase letters, ‘HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.’ Immediately, the landlord knocks at your door. Immediately, Mutinda Wa Muranga (Is there someone with such a name?) performs in your school. Immediately, your 26% result of the calculus test is before your eyes.

How does one feel? This is a question to the victims. How do you react? What goes on in that mind of yours for the first five seconds? Do you actually breathe? Your boss promises you a 33.3% salary increment only to be announced that it was an April fool’s joke. Joke? How you had budgeted of the accrued rent of 3 months will vanish and start dancing to Anto Neosoul’s song, ‘Paid my dues.’ Vision of you taking ‘madam’ to have a bite of ‘nyama’ (meat) at Kenyatta Market slips off your hand like grasping oil.

How is it with parents? Most of them, I repeat most of them are analogue and don’t even care leave alone know that such a day exists. “April what?” They’ll ask.

Try this. Okay, do not.

You call your parents and tell them you have checked and cross-examined your life and came up with the decision to quit drugs and focus on your studies. They become like a dog with two tails – extremely happy. A goat is slaughtered there and then to celebrate their prodigal child who just came back home. Then at around 11:00pm, you call them drunk or come home high and stoned, with your bloodshot eyes and ‘rasta’ color shirt written, “April fools” in green and yellow.

You really want them hospitalized? Love your parents and don’t try this at home.

What if your girlfriend called and said, it’s time for you to part ways? What next?

Leave alone that.

What if this time, forget whatever the date it is, the happenings are true? The occurrences of the day, making sure you are not dreaming, are real – real time. Your dog literally died. You just got dumped – for real. You were dropped out of the team. You got a rejection letter from your dream university which is located at the state of Washington; where to the right, Obama’s basketball pitch is and to the left is Lupita’s Condo. Strike is called off – I know guys! Me too, it really sucks.

Will you believe it? Or wait till 2nd April to really get terms with it?

Take heart.

This practice has however lapsed in more recent years. Why don’t you on April 1st go against the social norms of the day, forget your normal behavior and just ‘misbehave?’ At the end of the day, you’ll be your normal self. Vent the built up emotions and tensions. I think this is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty four.

Act a fool!

Go to work having donned your denim jeans – if you love your job that is. Get down on your knees with a rock in your hand, propose. While she is still tearing and acting all shocked get up quickly and wish her “April fool’s day” – Reiterating, if you love your relationship that is! Offer 100% discount on your items and services you sell – if you esteem your customers that is.

Pull pranks on your siblings and get back to them for what they got away with in the previous year. It helps in bonding. Just being able to joke and poke fun with others helps to build social relationships and laughter itself, is stress relieving and can be good for your health. I believe that is good advice.

NB:

Be prepared for slaps, punches, silent treatment, being poured with hot water, burnt with an iron box, loss of customers, loss of friendships for a day, weeks, months, years, lifetime. Do it anyway!

Serious Advice;

Get saved. Give your life to Christ. I know it’s a prank day but keep all the jokes aside and be honest with Him. How your life has been a mess and the burden you carry each day has taken the toil on you – let Him know. He is interested in each and every aspect of your life. Accept salvation and welcome to the flock. Being April 1st you will never forget the day you offered yourself to Him and enjoy the freedom and love He has in store for you. It might be funny, but do it.

“This statement does not constitute an acceptance of liability on the part of Chelal Evans in the event of dire consequences generated by this post. It is the responsibility of the recipient to take adequate security measures – ha-ha! “

Let me know the experiences of your ‘April Fool’s’ day plus what you got planned out on this one crazy day of the calendar.

Happy April Fools’ Day!

(Share with someone.)

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7 thoughts on “APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

  1. Haha… loved this….
    I felt it…not just read it…and yep, someone made a fool of me – a story for another day 🙂

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