WHY HELPING OTHERS IS A NIGHTMARE!

We all need a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, another person to make us feel exceptional in any way or feel important and a mentor to guide us. We feel positive toward the person who is saying and doing the things that make us feel better about ourselves. We want to be a product of charity but we ourselves wouldn’t want to help and be valuable to others.

Why is it so hard? Why is it so?

In this day and age, one might come over and ask to borrow the PlayStation for a week, a guitar for a month, a car for a day, a laptop for an hour; but freeing it up – even to a friend you daresay is close – is pretty hard.

Sure, you are using it or have plans for it, maybe you earned it by the sweat of your brow but at times you basically don’t use them. The period you would have helped or lent them and ‘it’ returned, has long passed without you using or even putting thought to your possession.

And if you do, it’s not with jollity of heart. You do it with fear or maybe have an odd premonition of it not coming back the same way you doled out or it’s your pride that reaches to the heavens or it’s due to their incessant pursuit and flashing eyes that whirls you nuts or like me, it’s just hard to let go of ‘my’ stuff!

Again; why is it so?

I’m attempting to round my mind into why and to unmask my burning curiosity yet we prescribe to the timeless philosophy, “Give and you shall receive.”

help3

We want to be on the receiving end; a pal to take you for lunch, buy you coffee, give you a free ride, pay the movie tickets, sambaza you credit, avail their time to you, practice calculus with you, walk you to the market, inspire you to be great, pray for you, love you, forgive you… and when they want you to reciprocate or roles are reversed; you have no time, not in the mood or just not willing to give yourself to them. And were they to count the many times they’ve gone beyond the call of duty to improve the quality of your life, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

You suddenly go mteja or don’t pick the call, you come up with lame excuses or you don’t fight for them enough. Worse off, you worry yourself sick till what you gave is brought back – trifling away precious moments that you’d have savored. You don’t forgive, you lie, and you gossip… you don’t help.

The good news is that, “Everything you do or say that causes another person to feel better in any way also causes you to feel better to the same degree.”

Lucky for me, I can pen it on paper and see how foolish and selfish of a person I am. Things I did not buy with my money (gifts, talents, knowledge, etc) or even if I did (worldly possession, etc), weren’t given to me by God for my pleasure alone. That I should share with my neighbor and brother, is the reason I was entrusted with them.

The Bible says, “What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?” 1 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT)

So let’s be a community. Instead of praying for a blessing, pray to be a blessing. Just to remind you of the Golden Rule, which most deem as a perfunctory cliché, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” And yes you are in need – I am in need also. You might not want to help owing to lack of abundance in your life but for me, I find a great deal of wisdom in the ancient Persian proverb: “I wept because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” It is easy to magnify our problems and lose sight of the many blessings we all have to be so very grateful for.

Serve. Become a volunteer. HELP.

Open your door for friends and strangers (you might entertain an angel), cook for others, pay bus fare for the one next to you, give ideas to colleagues, mentor the protégé, pay school fees for your niece, be hope to the young sister, buy them a book, pick that brother up and go watch the Harambee Stars game together. By doing this, you will be a true human being rather than merely a human doing.

I pen this with caution, still a fool but believing you are wise: that what I have is yours; from my money to my room, from my guitar to my parents, from my shoes and clothes to my knowledge and wisdom, from my Bible to my God; everything apart from my girl – that’s only mine, ha-ha!

As the Early Church are depicted in Acts 2:44-47, “All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possession and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

Pardon? I can’t hear you.

You want to buy me lunch, pay my fare, fit in the deficit, and get me shoes… Ooh how sweet and kind but no thanks.

Today is my day!

What are your needs? With the power, ability and resources bestowed on me, I will sort you out.

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