LOVE AFTER VALENTINE’S.

It’s that time of the year when perfection comes, and the imperfect disappears.
It’s that time where you think all the love songs playing on the radio were written for you. You and you alone.
It’s that time when men are really saving money and wondering what languages they shall borrow, what scriptures they shall quote; while the ladies are getting anxious by the day, trying to figure out what to expect from their loved ones.

On this piece, I want to specifically talk on love after Valentine’s, but allow me to touch a bit on Valentine’s Day.

Gentlemen:

Let it not be a normal day. If you’re used to taking her ‘kwa mathee’ for lunch, try to take her to a restaurant down the block, at least written ‘Mama Boyi Delicacies’. She’ll see the effort, understand and appreciate. But stay in your lane!

Brothers, I know you’re all spiritual and speaking in tongues but on this day, don’t wear Jesus sandals and a Safaricom promotion t-shirt, as you ponder on the lame excuse ‘does she love me or my clothes?’
Iron the shirt, brush the shoes, visit a barber if need be.

Again brothers, you’ll be flustered with her every feature, comforting your senses and inviting you nearer. But as her eyes look back into yours with soul depth, please understand purity as a pursuit of righteousness.

Plus remember, thoughtless words leave lasting wounds.

Ladies:

You’ll probably walk in town and see other ladies with flowers indulging in some Guylian chocolates; keep calm. They ‘may’ have it all but thank God you have ‘The” Guy. Ama? Ni heri ulie kwa Range Rover?
Have low expectations, be grateful, and at least uummhhh… act surprised!

Even as you play dress up and apply make up, it’s not the dress we love or the jewellery you’ve worn – it’s you. [Aawww]. And so, if we don’t get to notice the earring and new hairstyle, forgive us.
If we also seem to be day dreaming and quiet, put in mind that when we’ve met our soul’s match, what words will be adequate? Surely! Maybe it is joy that is choking us.

To the singles:

The prospect of facing the world alone could be a bit daunting.
You miss someone you’ve never met and all you want to do is run through time and glimpse that first meeting.

But as C.S. Lewis succinctly put it:“Hurry is from the devil.” Simply make your requests known to God.
Either way; God is never going to die, so why the hurry?

Don’t ask,’What can I do about my singleness?’ but ask, ‘What can I do with my singleness?’
Enjoy friendship with the opposite sex but use your energy as singles to serve God.

Happy Valentines:)

***

Now… to cement on love, let’s hears from Love Himself, God.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7

First, we all agree we need others if we are to know anything, even ourselves. Right? (‘It is not good for man to be alone’)
From the watchman to the teacher to the bus driver to that young man you borrow notes to photocopy and to the lovely young ladies that make Bible Study feel like home, with their smiles:)

Secondly, I hope as we talk about love, we don’t mean a craving to be loved, especially when it’s gluttonous, it can be a horrible thing. And could put us in a very deplorable state.
We good?

To love God, we must love one another. We cannot claim to love God whom we have not seen and hate our brother whom we see. (1 John 4:20)

We should do away with superficial acts like, “How are you? How was your day?”
Get to know more about them. The problems they’re facing, the victories they are savoring.
When we invest in friendship, love follows and when there is love, friendship grows.

If we want to get love right, we need to make it about God. Because God is love.
Note: Love is NOT God. It might mean the converse to some. When we say love is God, love becomes a god. It becomes an idol that we worship since we give our fellow humans the unconditional allegiance which we only owe to God. It could lead to hurt, pain and dissatisfaction.
I know you’ve probably heard others (not you. Others!) talk as if the thought of falling in love was the same as sanctification.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Tough huh? I usually read this and it makes me ask the question: what does it mean to truly love? To truly love a girl?
Open your Bibles (put them on) and turn to chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians, and read the whole of it.

Why? Why should we love one another?

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

I cannot understand how One could be so angry with someone and still want them back? How could One be so upset with someone and still love them?

“… Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16

Let us pray to be taught how to love, for love never fails.

***

Sages of this piece were gleaned from:

1. The Holy Bible
2. I Kissed Dating Goodbye – Joshua Harris
3. Boy Meets Girl – Joshua Harris
4. The Four Loves – C.S. Lewis.

[I have both the e-books of Joshua Harris, in case you want them, kindly e-mail me and I’ll gladly send it to you.]